Lots of emotions and hormone are racing through my body right now. I feel that I am being blessed to help cope with this right now. I really am kind of a hodge podge of emotion, gratitude for the two terrors that I already have, disheartened to think I have to start over again, reality in that I know something was wrong, worry that it will take a long time to get pregnant again, relief that maybe I can get this body back into a little bit better shape so that I can go into another pregnancy a little healthier and happier. Yesterday after going to the doctor and not being able to find a heart beat I of course was still optimistic that everything would be okay, when I talked to Summer she said to say a prayer and honestly I did not want to. I did not want to know if this baby was not going to make it. I distinctly remember last miscarriage praying and having an overwhelming feeling that that baby would not be a part of our family ( at least not now) Yesterday I felt really alone, partly by choice because I didn't want Heavenly Father's comfort, I just wanted a baby. But then I called Brady to come give me a blessing. As he gave me a blessing the tears that I was trying to keep in came flooding out, no where in the blessing did he mention me having a little baby, he only mentioned being comforted through my trials, and loving and being a good mom to the children that I have. As I prayed last night and this morning I could not even ask Heavenly Father to give me a healthy baby, cause he had already told me that instead he would be there so that I would not feel so alone and hopeless. Needless to say that has not eased the tears and the hurt of knowing that it was not our time. I can not wait for JD to finally get home so that I do not have to do this on my own, I know it is hard for him, he was as excited is not more for his family to grow. Although I don't have my family here this week I feel so grateful to have the great friends that I do. Thank you Linds for the yummy bread and for the company and knowing that being alone is never as fun as good company. Thank you thank you for knowing how to be a good friend.
britt
First couple days of Bridget being home.
8 years ago
15 comments:
i wanna cry for you, i wanna be there with ya. I am glad that you have friends and family close by and far away that think you are the greatest. love ya
Oh, Britt, I, like Susie, want to be there with you. But, the 'blogger moms' will have to do. I'm so sorry for what you are feeling and going through, but so glad that Brady was there to help. Just know you can always go to my moms if you need a mom-hug! Love you! I will see you in April when I come home!!
We love love love love love you...I hate that I can not be there with you right now but know that everything will be okay cause we all love love love love love you and your darling family. you know what else stinks...I am most like you during pregnancies, thanks alot sister!
haha that was ash not dave, he loves you too don't worry but so far pregnancies aren't so bad for him!
I'm so sorry Britt. I'm glad you have some wonderful friends and your family there for you. We'll be thinking about you.
brit- i am so sorry. i wish that there was something that could be said or done at a time like this, but i know that there really isn't. i just want you to know that you are an inspiration to me, even though you turned away... or so you said... from Heavenly Father's comfort, you really didn't, and you have such strong faith that even through this you radiate the spirit. I really look up to you in so many ways, and i hope that things start getting easier for you soon.
Brittany...I am so sorry. I went through this twice in a row before I had my sweet little Megan. it hurts so much. We are thinking about you and hope that JD gets back soon. Love your family!
oh brittany I am so, so sorry. I'm glad brady was around though and good friends. I have the flu so I don't think I would have been any help but your in my prayers and I hope that jd gets home soon too. thinkin of you!
Oh Britt, my heart is breaking for you! I can't even imagine how you're feeling. I'm so sorry.
Britt,
My heart is breaking for you right now. I know too well the roller coaster of emotions that a miscarriage brings. Just know that you are loved and when you are ready, Heavenly Father will still be there, waiting. I remember feeling the same emotion, just wanting to wallow in my misery for a little while and a bit of anger and resentment, also embarassment, and a whole slew of other things. You are in my prayers.
xoxo
amz
love ya, still thinking about you, and i'll bake more bread and be your blind date company anytime, AND next time i'll try to remember to hug you FIRST! (sometimes i'm dumb with that whole hugging business) oh and it happened again, i thought 'dave' was your dad, and once again, what a sensitive family you have, haha.
Britt my eyes are all blurry so I can't type. I am so sorry, my heart is breaking for you I wish I could be there so bad I can;t imagine not having JD there with you. Your a trooper Britt and I know it will just take time to feel better but you are an amazing mom. I've had that same feeling before about not wanting to pray cause you don't want to have to have a reason to pray cause everything is fine...right?? Anyway hang in there remember Heavenly father knows us best and he has things figured out, I just wish that sometimes we had a little more say in the matter. Love ya
So sorry Brittany. It's a hard, hard thing to go through. Thinking of you guys. We love you! Give those precious girls of yours extra hugs!
Brit, I'm sorry you guys have to go through this right now. We are praying for you guys and please know that we are there for you.
So sorry Britt, we love you guys and hope you are doing well. Please let us know if there is anything we can do for you. Can't wait to see you again. Love ya all.
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